Hm. Been out for about the entire day (or so) after the HCL exam today, but I'm not exactly in the mood to blog about it, so I shall leave it to another day, maybe. Wahahaha.

I don't know what's come over me. I can't make it out, and I'm going nuts over it. Maybe I'm overly obsessed. Yeah, maybe I am. Maybe I'm ungrateful, maybe I don't know how to cherish those around me. Maybe. But I don't know, and I'm not in the mood to care. I know I'm happy as it is. And I don't know what I can do to change it to your liking. I don't know. It's just a heap of mess - I'm a mess. It's confusing.
I promised. At least, I promised myself. I would be there. I would. But was I? I didn't even dare to do anything. I didn't want to spoil anything or worsen the situation. I was scared. I was afraid. But not daring to do anything would simply mean I didn't know anything, and I wasn't about to find out. And I couldn't live with that, 'cause there was something going on and it was affecting you, and I couldn't live with it. I just can't. It only seems to be tugging against my conscience. I just want to find out, and I just you to be better, happier. That's all that matters.
Maybe you're right; I don't bother as much anymore. Not since that period of time. I know you're always there for me, and I thank you for it. I know I haven't been doing anything, but I just hope I have never forgotten. If you want, I can scrimp and save for them. It's fine with me, really.
Thing is, I never expected you to understand anything. Maybe it's unreasonable not to attempt to tell you at all, but I didn't want to divulge anything, not since I never ever do it.
I don't know, I'm just so screwed.
If you (whoever it is) are reading this, you know you're not seeing anything, and you will not ask me anything about it. I won't fucking care.